I Should Be...

I’ve always wanted to be “that” person. “That” person who has it all together. You know. “It!” It can be pretty much anything. Or It can be everything. To me, “it” is pretty much both. I tell myself that I should be the one who…

• Loves the unloving.
• Gives grace (even to the people who drive me nuts!)
• Cooks a great dinner for her family. Every night. With the table set. Maybe even candles once in a while. Napkins, too. That would be nice. Always having napkins available.
• encourages her husband and has noble character.
• raises a respectful, patient, God-loving son.
• has laughter and can laugh at the days to come.
• respects her parents and shows them each day how much she loves them.
• Stands by her brother's side and supports him with unconditional love and encouragement.
• Spends quality time with her nieces and nephews and has that unbreakable bond.
• Engages in conversation about how the day went and what I’m blessed with.
• Has morning quiet time with the Lord each day.
• Forgives—truly forgives—and moves on from the past.
• Calls or visits family members every day.
• Sends a note of encouragement to a friend.
• Recites and memorizes scripture.
• Exercises and eats healthy.
• Keeps a clean house without dust and cobwebs or scuffs on the walls, baseboards, and doors.
• Gets to work early to make sure the day is ready for the kids.
• Spends each moment with my own kids.
• Doesn’t text too much.
• Doesn’t check Facebook or Instagram too many times each day.
• Volunteers for “things” (while keeping it all together and not grumbling).
• Cooks dinners for friends who’ve just had a life change.
• Goes to a weekly Bible study.
• Travels.
• Takes bubble baths while drinking wine and reading a good book.
• Keeps in touch with old friends while making new friends.
• Grows homemade vegetables.
• Keeps a beautiful garden with vibrant flowers… and doesn’t kill them.
• Plans a menu for the week and then clips coupons in order to purchase my supplies at the cheapest price possible therefore saving money.
• Doesn’t buy the skirt that is SO cute and obviously made “just for me”.
• Reads books in a day.
• Stays connected to what’s going on in the world.
• Gives blankets and canned goods to the needy.
• Helps at the local shelter or soup kitchen (and honestly, shouldn't I know where our local shelter or soup kitchen is??).

 Well, the list could be longer. It seems to grow daily. Yet, as I get older, I’m starting to realize that while I may not be all of these things (or even, most of these things), but I’m growing.
 I’m growing in Christ who is making me a strong, people loving, grace giving person. And while I often fall short of the Christ-Like ways, I’m reminded constantly of His unfailing and forgiving love that offers the grace I need to continue trying. I may not have “it” all together, but I have all that I need. I have the load that God has entrusted me to have. He’s given me what He knows I can handle. It’s up to ME not to compare it to what others CAN handle.
So, I don’t have the spotless house. I rarely have dinner made. My crops and flowers tend to be under-watered, brown and crispy, and barely hanging on to life. I really don’t like bubble baths—I prefer a shower. Getting motivated to exercise is just extremely difficult. I also enjoy my sweet treats. I sometimes remember to call or text a friend to offer encouragement, and I am rarely that person who brings a meal when I know I need to—and even when I really want to.
 I’ve gotten better at spending daily quality time with my Lord which in turn has helped me become the woman I truly want to be. The one who laughs, encourages, and offers grace and forgiveness. I know each day I fall short of that. But I also understand that it’s ok, and I can try again in the next minute if I fail in the moment. I don’t have to have all of “it” on my list in order to be loved by God… and that’s all that matters. He loves me whether or not I have an Oreo in one hand and a Caramel Frappucino in the other hand. He loves me even when I’ve given that “tone” to my mom that I know I shouldn’t give because all she’s ever done is love me. When my sweet little son turns into a little monster because he couldn’t play with the burners on the stove (what a mean mom I am) or stick his fingers in the electrical sockets (I know, I run a really tight ship) God still loves me and He knows I’m doing my best with the load he’s given me.
 Galations 6:4-10 reminds me:
. 4Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, 5for each one should carry their own load. 6Nevertheless, the one who receives instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor.
7Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.
 So that’s what I plan to do. I plan to keep carrying my own load without comparing myself to what others have. I want to reap what I sow. I don’t want to sow jealousy, fear, doubt, or anger. I want to sow love, kindness, grace, and patience. I want to “do good to all people” and I can’t “do good” if I’m trying to live up to the (unrealistic) expectations I’ve set before myself. I can only “do good” if I’m carrying the load I’ve been given by our Lord.Won’t you join me in getting rid of that list of what we “should be” and focus on what we are called to be? Let's focus on a harvest of love for our futures, not comparison to others!